Is Paris Hilton missing a tooth?

You would think that she would be able to get that fixed, wouldn't you? Hmm. Very strange...

A close-up of Tara Reid's stomach

This stomach is the reason that you buy ONE PIECE bathing suits. Good lord. Cover that up.

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I know this just represents the raping of my childhood...

...but this Transformers trailer looks really fucking rad.
I am a nerd.

Britney's one hot momma!

Here is the lovely Ms. Spears out on the town last night, going to a tattoo parlor with her sister - so sweet. She decided to be ghetto fabulous and get her hand tattooed with a star or something... I don't understand the trend with trashy girls (a.k.a. Lindsay Lohan) tattooing things on their hands. Very strange.

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...and here's a close-up of her new tattoo. Eh.
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I thought this was amusing.

Something about her crazy wonky eyes in the 'after' picture makes me laugh. She doesn't even look like herself at all... she looks like a drunk, drag-queen version of herself. By the way, these are pictures of Paris Hilton before & after going into a club.

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Oh, and here's one more:

Happy Birthday, hot-ass Jake Gyllenhaal!

...and to celebrate, here is a present for all of you ladies (and some of you boys)... the greatest photo of this hot young man EVER. Okay, maybe not ever, but it's pretty damn hot. I know, I know, he might not strike the fancy of some of you out there, but can't you just appreciate this picture for what it is? This is a beautiful creature, my friends.

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Good lord, this is some funny shit

Cameron Diaz post-nose job

Is it just me, or does her nose look like it's totally uneven? It looks like someone took a scoop out of the left side of the bridge of her nose - it's completely lopsided. She should get busy suing her doctor... that's not looking too good.

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Slow gossip day...

...so I found this and decided to post it. Super fuck yeah! I know, I know, it's kind of nerdy, but I really did like the movies when I was young, so hopefully this will turn out pretty cool. Fingers crossed for another Vanilla Ice cameo. :)

Check out the trailer here.

Hello, all!

Hope you had a great weekend! I'm feeling a lot better so I'm going to get back in the swing of things this week, haven't looked for photos yet but I'm going to in just a second. Anyway, I've got some good news as well; I've switched the comments page so that you can register your email address BEFORE you can put down a comment, that way you'll be able to keep track of everything you post, and I'll still be able to have comments on my website.

If you're not comfortable with this I totally understand, too bad a few bad apples had to spoil the whole bunch, eh? Well, if you'd still like to comment on the site, please feel free to register, it'll only take a second, and then we'll be good to go. Thanks, guys.

Sorry about the lack of updates

I'm a bit under the weather, I'll post as soon as I'm a bit better. Blah.
In the meantime, here is a picture of Tyra Banks doing squats.

Nicole Richie arrested for DUI!

TMZ has learned that Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI early Monday morning. She was booked at 4:50 AM today and was released around 7:15 this morning. The booking sheet reveals Richie is 5'1" and 85 lbs.

We're told two motorists spotted her SUV going the wrong way on the 134 Freeway in Burbank. The drivers called 911.

When the CHP responded, Richie was stopped in the carpool lane and was alone in the vehicle. When cops approached the vehicle, Richie was on her cellphone.

A preliminary alcohol screening device revealed that Nicole was not under the influence of alcohol.

One law enforcement source tell TMZ that while Richie was at the jail she was "very cooperative and very humble."

This is not the first brush Richie has had with substance abuse. In 2003, she pled guilty to heroin possession. The charges were dismissed after she completed the terms of her probation.

A rep for Richie had no comment.

TMZ has learned that Richie hired celebrity lawyer Howard Weitzman to rep her in this latest incident.

(TMZ)

From Britney to her sister... ew.

This was taken this past weekend, and looking at it all I can think is WRONG. WRONG. Why is she touching her sisters ass like that? Why do the two slutty Hiltons have their asses pressed against each other in the back fo a limo, all the while trying to look sexy while doing so? That doesn't seem like something sisters should be doing... ick.

Thanks, Squid!

Gossip Links

Lindsay Lohan tried to slit her wrists with a butter knife; does not succeed, because it's a fucking butter knife. (CITY RAG)

Going to LA this weekend? Head on over to Tori Spelling's garage sale & buy some 90210 trinkets. (HOLLYWOOD RAG)

...and, for the hell of it, here is Britney Spears presenting an award at some recent awards show. With her nipple hanging out. Happy weekend!

For the curious...

Here is a copy of the entire crazy e-mail that Lindsay Lohan sent out. It is ridiculously wonderful and typo-ridden. Ah, good times. Enjoy!

Subject: The way of the future-Howard Hughes once said.

I am willing to release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite letter to the press if any of you are willing to help. Simply to state my oppinions on how our society should be educated on for the better of our country. Our people. Also because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see. People are just mean. I am going to proceed with putting LR to court if need be for what she's done to me. Its my life. I want to live it. People cannot lie and think that it is okay to continue on having done so. Simply because they will do it again to someone else, and that is not alright with me. I have had many ups and downs, as do we all.

But to make false accusations to one girl is unjust in my oppinion. Having said this, I am willing to do anything I need to get my life the way it should be and the way I work for it to be.. And have thus far in my career. Let's sue the tabloids for saying the things they say. Defamation of character. Amongst other illegal accusations, I will repeat this over and over to make my point. I am not fully aware of what these, again, accusations are, but I am fully and eagerly prepared to learn them. Have harvey and all lawyers help me please. If he is willing. Al Gore will help me he came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me. If he is willing to help me, let's find out. Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan metroplis, and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK. I'd really like to fix things and refuse to stop on any account for these unintelligent, vulgar people who like to hurt other people. Not just me, but everyone. I'm willing to hold a press conference and I will do anything necessary to do so. In putting an end to 'these people' trying to put an end to me and belittle me as well as try to be the demise of me after all I've gone through and done at such a young and tender age in a womans life. Its enough already, I've had enough and I am going to be the one to make a change. For all of my fellow actors, friends, people I admire and for those I've lost in the recent days, years, months. I do believe the focus in the world has misplaced and directed in the wrong directions and I am willing to be the one to help change that and use my celebrity status to move the focalpoint /(s) of the press to the real issues that we have going on as we speak. Anyone that is willing to help and has a family member or friend, even co-worker that is in a position to be involved in any way, shape or form, please contact me, Jenni Muro, Leslie Sloane, Michael Heller, Jason Sloane, Jason Weinberg as soon as you can or are willing. Just ask them, it doesn't hurt to ask. So let's start now, rather than waste time. Do you agree? Because I'm doing it either way. The way of the future. Thank you for your time.

Your Entertainer, Lindsay Lohan Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

Beyonce is an extra from Star Trek

Ew. Somebody's wig is glued on a little too tight. Such a pity.
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Gossip Links

Lindsay Lohan has finally gone insane and thinks that Al Gore is going to help her with her problems. (PAGE SIX)

CariDee won America's Next Top Model! No one cares. (CW)

Britney Spears now owns underwear. (BRITNEY SPEARS)

Perez Hilton goes on Stern, says some things... (ICYDK)

Is Beyonce lying about her age? (MEDIA TAKE-OUT)

Scary Spice out of town when Eddie Murphy throws her under the bus, and finds out via the media she was dumped. Pretty sucky of him. (THE SUN)

Lindsay Lohan spits food out in public; acts like bitch. (NATIONAL ENQUIRER)

Boy oh boy

The day is here... Screech's porn is up and ready for watching. Now, to be honest, I haven't seen it... I don't have the media player it requires and I'm afraid that all get all kinds of porny viruses if I download it. So, if you are brave, you can check it out here. Best of luck. I hear it's the most horrible thing ever.

Caption This!

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J-Lo's pants are about 8 sizes too small

..and for the love of god, what is that thing in her ass? I'm not meaning to be crude, but it looks like something is protruding and I'm not sure what it is... hmm.
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This made me laugh

Well, not the whole "drunk driving" thing, but the picture.

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Perez Hilton is down!

Is it the beginning of the end????

(Perez Hilton)

...I know a lot of people don't care, but this is huge
It's HUUUUGE!

Yes, I am lame.

EDIT: And now it's back up. Dammit. It was fun while it lasted.

Gossip Links

Lindsay Lohan's mother can't keep her fucking mouth shut (TMZ)

Britney Spears is doing it on purpose. (FOX)

...and she continues to wear pants (X17)

Pink pulls a Britney... but is actually wearing underwear (TMZ)

Tom Cruise is releasing an album. Good lord. (E CANADA)

Will Ferrell thinks Lindsay Lohan is a freak. (NY POST)

I think Courtney Love is rad. (LIFE & STYLE)

Nicole Richie is a dumb whore (CELEBRITIES)

K Fed is going to have a reality show (US)

Have a great weekend!

Teri Hatcher is hideous

Here is where I'd usually write something bitchy, but my brain isn't quite working today so I'm just going to let the picture speak for itself. I think it's saying "I'm a saggy stick woman and I used to have a penis".

Crazy eyes

That is all.

Paris Hilton has shiny plastic breasts.

And a creepy troll doll attached to her arm, with a purse that's bigger than her whole body. Ugh. Paris Hilton actually looks like a barbie doll.

Perez Hilton

...Okay, this just came out: Perez Hilton has finally stolen (and made a ton of money off of) enough pictures from other blogs, and x17 Online is suing his ass - for over 7.5 million dollars. Now, you know that my blog consists of pictures and info that I get from other blogs, but the difference between Perez and other bloggers is that we credit the other blogs for pictures (the source thing at the bottom of each blog); he does not. He's been making a shit ton of money off of taking photos from paparazzi websites like X17, and now they are trying to take some of it back. Good luck! (FADED YOUTH)

Britney looks kind of good...

...minus the greaseball following her (for those who don't know who the guy is, he's the infamous fire-crotch-yelling Brandon Davis, heir to an oil fortune and the douchiest of the douches). Oh, and the buttons screaming on the front of her horrible tacky shirt as it strains to hold in her womanly buldges. And her new wig from 1974. And the fake eyelashes. And the dalmation print on her shirt. Okay, maybe not so good.

Gossip Links

Lindsay Lohan has started going to AA (NYPOST)

Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler (the chick who tried to kick Paris Hilton's ass for making out with Travis - aka my hero) getting back together? Hmm. (TMZ)

Paris teaches Britney how to strip. Okay. (THE SUN)

...Oh, and Britney Spears is also bisexual (THE SUN)

Anna Nicole Smith is exported (TMZ)

GQ hosted a party, here are some pics... yes, free booze, Lindsay Lohan was there (MOLLYGOOD)

Britney Spears goes out in pants. No one cares. (I'M NOT OBSESSED)

Her heart is in the right place, but Lindsay Lohan is retarded. And can't spell. And is retarded. (THE INDEPENDENT)

...and, apparently, a coked-out whore (X17 ONLINE)

No words. (D-LISTED)

Not a Britney post!

...well, I guess it kind of is since it involves Britney's new boyfriend Paris, out on the town for the first time in days without her. Here is Paris Hilton, looking like shit. Here is Nicole Richie with her new breast implants. That is all.

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And now...day 3.

Britney last night.

Sans panties.

A
-fucking
-gain.

I am, honestly, too furious to type... lame, but true. Grr.
An uncensored pic of her here (not a close up - thank god).

...and a close-up. Is it her private area or peachish panties? I really can't tell. Hmm. Please discuss.

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Caption Winner!

" aaaaaa! for christsake put on panties already! Oh, wait, my mistake, that's her mouth this time." -anonymous


Congratulations if this is you, but since you wrote the caption for a contest and chose to remain anonymous, I have no idea how to reward you. So, um, thanks for entering, you win, you are funny, but please, leave a name next time so I can give you your reward? I know it's not the coolest thing to win, but I was going to enjoy analyzing somebody's sworn enemy. Well, there's always next time. Thanks to all for your humorous comments.

Booooo-rrrring.

I think that somebody is desperate for attention, and her name is Lindsay Lohan. How lame... going to a store and buying gold handcuffs just to show them off to the waiting paparazzi, shamefully trying to detract attention from the new BFF's Britney and Paris.
So sad.

Caption this!

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Okay, so since I'm without a lot of money, I don't have much to offer contest-wise, so here's what I came up with: if you come up with the best caption, I'll let you know, and you can send me a picture of yourself, or, even better, a picture of someone you don't like, and I'll put it on my blog, along with some scathing commentary for all to enjoy, sandwiched between all of the other celebrity pictures. What fun! See, everyone wins! Not really.

If you're listening to the show, you'll know why I'm posting this

good fucking god.

Okay, sorry, I know my language isn't safe for work, but jesus fucking christ - what is Britney Spears doing?? These pictures are too vulgar for even ME to post, and that's saying something.

So, last night Britney decided to go out -again- with Paris Hilton, and ONCE AGAIN SANS PANTIES! Why, Britney? That is so gross and wrong and saggy and gross and wrong! Keep your naughty bits tucked away! I don't want to see your vag, let alone your c-section scar (yes, the pictures show her from belly-button to ass - sick). So, since I don't want to post these, I'll direct you to the fine fellows at What Would Tyler Durden Do? who have them up for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy! Throw up!

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EDIT: Here is a safe-for-work picture of Britney's ass from a couple of nights ago when she was out with Paris Hilton. Why, Britney, Why?

Anyone remember The Facts of Life?

In case you need some refreshing, this is what Lisa Whelchel used to look like, when she played Blair Warner on Facts of Life. Oh boy. Looks like she raided Britney Spears shitty hair extension collection.

BTW, this is a real picture, no photoshop.

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This posting is where I COULD post Tom Cruise / Katie Holmes wedding news...

...but I don't care enough to, nor do I want to. I'm not going to support Katie Holmes, who was once a talented actress, finally marrying a forty-something mental case who has ruined her career and completely brainwashed her. Instead, here is a picture of her from Thank You for Smoking... the movie that she could have possibly won an Oscar for her part, but she declined.
R.I.P. Katie Holmes' career.

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Stay away from Britney, you whorey girl! This is when she's supposed to clean UP her image, not hang around with Skanky McSkankerson herself. Although I have to say, Britney is wearing the worst outfit I've seen in awhile.

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Kevin Federline getting text message from Britney Spears about the divorce (by request)

Lindsay Lohan: cutter?

Well, that's kind of sucky. Her publicist says that she "fell in some bushes". Sure. She's been wearing either a bandage or a thick bracelet on that arm for months... looks like we know why now.


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Tom Cruise, Suri, Katie Holmes and Chris Klein (a.k.a. "the real father")

I mean, come on. Tom Cruise is trying to pass this off as his kid? Yeah, I'm not thinking so. Pictured below Tom & Suri is Chris Klein, Katie Holmes ex-boyfriend that she broke up with mere days before she started seeing Tom Cruise and became, ahem, pregnant. Suri's resemblance to Chris, at least to me, is uncanny. That is totally his kid. As a sidenote, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were seen today at City Hall in Rome filling out paperwork, meaning that they are probably married already - I'm kind of disappointed that she didn't escape. Oh well. Guess now we'll just have to stay tuned for the divorce.

My Chemical Romance: Welcome to the Black Parade

...I'm a big fan of the album, but I'm not 100% about the video. I think it's pretty, but the concept kind of becomes lost to me - I'm digging the marching band suits that look like ribcages, though. Comments?

Jocelyn Wildenstein (aka Cat Lady) that Rick is obsessed with:

Where has Star Jones been hiding?

Oh, there she is! I think she dropped her foundation when she was attempting to put it on her face, because it is ALL over her freak chest. Remember awhile back when she got the girls enlarged & lifted? I think she's trying to cover the scars (because she has them aplenty) and not doing a good job. Honey, if you're going to use the right color of make-up for your face, maybe you should try and use it for the rest of your body as well - might match up better. Ick.

EDIT: oh happy day... I found more Star Jones pictures. Enjoy!

sigh.

Joshua Jackson and his girlfriend Diane Kruger at the Chicago musical after-party last night.
Ah, memories.

What do you guys think of his lady?

A message for Britney Spears...

...left on the shower door of his dressing room from none other than Kevin Federline. He left this after he played his show full of ticket-holders that were there because a) the tickets were free or b) they wanted to catch a glimpse of Britney. This has been compared to his actual signature by many, and it's an exact match. What a moron, eh? Maybe he would have a stronger case to get custody of his two kids with Britney if he gave a shit about the first two he had with Shar Jackson. Yeah, that's right, Kevin, you already have other kids you should care about - you should have just written the truth: "Fuck a wife, give me money bitch!". Somebody should put this jack-ass out of his misery.

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Vampire Kirsten Dunst

THIS WOMAN HAS SLEPT WITH JAKE GYLLENHAAL. And I have not. Cruel, cruel world.

ew ew ew. ew ew.

WRONG! I am so grossed out by this but I've gotta post it. Here are the latest pics of Michael Jackson, with his scraped up nose and brown fingernails. After much speculation on the internet about why his nails would be said color, a blogger noted that sometimes chemotherapy makes your nails turn brown. Does Michael Jackson have cancer, or does he just not wear gloves when he dyes his hair? Inquiring minds want to know...

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Britney Spears infuriates me.

This is what is bothering me: this, right now is Britney Spears time to shine and win back the people and re-establish herself as hot in the public eye, and she's FUCKING BLOWING IT. Britney! Take off the goddamn santa hat! And why, dear sweet god why, are you wearing white sunglasses at night? And the sweater. I don't even know where to begin with the sweater. Too tight? Yes. Too short? You bet. Too see-through? Yup. Left boob hanging over the top of your bra so you can see it through your see-through sweater? Done and done.

I am a pro-Britney girl, I want her to take all of her money and leave douchebag Kevin with nothing. It is, however, a lot harder to support her on the issue when she steps out in public looking like a holiday stripper just getting off stage. Grr. Get a stylist, and for the love of god, please don't wear anymore kooky hats in public.

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Tara Reid - post makeover

Wow. Tara is looking SOOO much better than I've ever seen her... well, I thought she was pretty when she filmed Josie & the Pussycats (one of my favorite movies ever) but this is a fabulous look for her as well. Good job, Tara!

Lindsay Lohan looks beat.

I know, I know, we all know that she's on a downward spiral, but I just can't help it... when she's walking around like a breast-implanted blind homeless person with no fashion sense I've got to deliver the picture to the people. Boy oh boy.

Lindsay Lohan thinks Paris Hilton is a c*nt.

I don't have a problem writing out the whole word, but after seeing it written out on on the screen it just looked ugly... so I added a happy little asterisk and all is right with the world. Gotta love the drunken rantings of a coked-out Lindsay Lohan.

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Nicole Richie IS Jerri Blank

Boo ya.

In case you don't know where Jerri Blank is from, she's a character played by Amy Sedaris on Strangers with Candy.