DAMN.

Sister is looking HAGGARD. I think that all of her hard partying has finally caught up to her... she does not look anywhere near 20 years old. What is with the bags? The bloodshot eyes? This is the premiere of the biggest fucking movie of her career so far and she couldn't stay in for just one night? Grr. I don't mean to be so bitchy, but isn't it annoying to anyone else? Girls like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton basically run our country (at least take up most of the media's time) and why? So we can watch the waste away from anorexia and drug addictions? Whatever. Sometimes I can't believe I have this blog to pander to these slut monkeys.

Here is Lindsay Lohan, richer than any of us will ever be, and not grateful for it whatsoever. Oh well. I'm done ranting. Anyway, I hope to see you all at the Leykis listener party this afternoon at Barracuda ( 9 NW 2nd) at 3PM (doors at 2PM). I swear I'll be in a good mood. Let's drink!

Ooooo, it's a zombie...

...oh no, it's Nicole Ritchie and her freak arm. This girl just looks ill... I bet if she wiped off all of the make-up on her face she'd be as pale as a ghost and just sickly-looking.

Pamela Anderson has bald patches.

..Okay, maybe not bald patches, but she's got some seriously terrible hair extensions going on. I know that Pamela is the queen of gorgeous fake-looking women with the blonde hair and huge boobs and tan skin and tons of make-up, I just don't want to see how she's pieced together... nobody wants to see an implant poking out of her, and I sure don't want to see her chunks of hair she has glued to her scalp.

Jessica love meatball.

Jessica Simpson is a beautiful eater. Listen, I'm not the most attractive shoving a wad of ground beef in my mouth, either, but she's sitting outside in front of the paparazzi. She should KNOW better... or at least wear her sunglasses to disguise the look of bliss on her face as she shoves her maw with yet another forkful of juicy shoveled meat.

Nick Lachey wins.

Happy Halloween!

Here's your treat! Our own engineer Shawn Cupples dressed up as Orgasmo. Check out the silver codpiece, mmm mmm mmm.

I love my job.

Suzanne Somers: Ageless?

Um... no. I think that if you click on this picture you can see the horrible, super extra large picture of this self-described "ageless" beauty. I, like many other girls my age, was a huge fan on Step-By-Step, and those days for Suzanne are LOOONNG gone - she's wrinkle-icious. I know, that's not a word, but it's the only thing that comes to mind when I look at her.

She doesn't look so bad with the picture being small, so if you'd like to not taint the image in your mind of her physical appearance don't enlarge the photo. Mmmm leathery face.

Oh boy.

Bill Maher as Steve Irwin.
Somebody's going to hell.