Wednesday, October 04, 2006

My Hero, Shanna Moakler.

Paris Hilton and Shanna Moakler both filed police reports this morning alleging they were attacked. Paris claims Moakler punched her in the jaw and Moakler claims Paris's ex Stavros Niarchos poured a drink over her head and shoved her down some stairs. The incident happened at Hyde at around 1:10 AM when Shanna confronted Paris and started screaming obscenities, at one point punching her in the jaw with a closed fist. The bad blood is the result of Paris getting it on with Shanna's estranged husband Travis Barker, and a source close to Paris reveals that Shanna has been leaving "menacing" messages on Paris's answering machine. Source

God bless you, Shanna Moakler - you had the balls to do what so many women have desired to do: punch Slutty McSlutterson right in her beaky face. You were being heckled by Paris and her entourage, had a drink thrown on you, shoved down the stairs by Mr. Nachos, and you decided to stand up for yourself and do something about it (at least that's the truth I choose to believe). You are a role model to many girls; Paris Hilton is not. Go Shanna go!

Straight outta prison...

...and looking like a hairless cat. What the HELL happened to her face?? She used to look, yes, a little crazy, but definitely not as bizarre as she looks now.

(By the way, this is rapper Lil' Kim)

Monday, October 02, 2006

Katie Holmes is enormous...

...or Tom Cruise is really very small. Okay, or maybe, just maybe, the camera is at a weird angle and it looks like she's a giant and he's a midget man, and I fully take advantage of said angle to mock the fact that Tom Cruise is freakishly small. Maybe that's it.

Gotta admit, though, that it looks pretty realistic. When are you going to run away, gigantic Katie? Run free! Move away from crazy Tom before you get hitched and you can't break free! You are very frustrating!!

Lindsay Lohan's drunken karate moves

She's quite the little dancer.