Photoshop time!

Okay, so Mr. Tim Riley had a dream last night that I dyed his hair red & blue striped, and then put it in cornrows. Please to be sending your photoshopped version of said dream to rick@rickemerson.com. Love it.

Lindsay, pre-2nd DUI

See, celebrities aren't all perfect-looking all the time! Well, I guess that her mugshot showed us that already... but I couldn't resist posting this one. Click on the picture for extra-large version.
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mmm.... Britney like ketchup.

Ms. Spears fine-dinin' yesterday afternoon. She's saving it for later, ya'll.

I am unreasonably angry about this.

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - Turncoat Michael is making a "Lost" comeback. Harold Perrineau, who plays the character last seen betraying his fellow crash survivors to save himself and his son, will return to the show next season.

ABC Entertainment President Stephen McPherson didn't offer any details Wednesday of what's in store for Michael. He also didn't say whether Walt, the son played by Malcolm David Kelley, will be seen again.

The pair fled the mysterious island where the crash victims were struggling to survive against the dangerous "Others," with desperate Michael turning over his friends in exchange for escape.

The network had planned to make the "Lost" announcement at Comic-Con International, the comic book and pop-culture show starting Thursday in San Diego. But McPherson, speaking to a meeting of the Television Critics Association, was pressed for the information.

Earlier this year, ABC said will run for three more seasons, concluding in 2009-10. The series will return for its fourth season in January.

Fuckity fuck! Well, I hope to god they don't bring creepy Walt back so he can stand in the corner of tents dripping wet looking all scary and telling them to "shh" and then disappearing into the forest. Man oh man, I really am NOT happy about this... unless Michael has been trapped with Walt on the boat that the "Others" sent him away on after betraying his friends and he was lost at sea and Walt died and Michael had to eat him, therefore staying alive longer only to drift back to the island that he had escaped from. And then when they see him they shoot him and he dies. That is the only scenario to which I will be mildly okay with the fact the the most annoying character -ever- on television is getting a second chance on a fantastic show. Grr.

Extensions are sexxxxxxy

Just keeps getting better and better... thank you, Britney. Thank you.
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Now, this is just embarrassing.

I, for one, do not desire to see Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise dry-humping on the dance floor... this is just sad. This picture was taken at the "Welcome to America, Beckhams" party, where after Katie & Tom did said bumping & grinding, somebody put on "Old Time Rock N' Roll" and he proceeded to relive his youth by doing his Risky Business dance. Good lord.

She is, in two words, completely fucked.

UPDATE:

Lindsay Lohan might be adding a whole lotta striped jumpsuits to her wardrobe.

Already facing charges for driving under the influence and misdemeanor hit and run in Beverly Hills, Lindsay racked up even more charges last night in Santa Monica, and is now facing big-time jail time.

The maximum sentence she faced for the original DUI and hit and run charges was 6 months for each. Last night, Lindsay was charged with another DUI -- if convicted of both DUIs, she could face up to one year in jail. And the horror doesn't stop there! She was also charged with possession of cocaine, which is a felony and carries a maximum of three years in jail.

La Lohan is accused of driving on a suspended license as well, which carries a maximum of one year in jail. Her frenemy Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days for the same offense.

As far as the allegation of bringing cocaine into a correctional facility -- our sources tell us that this charge will most likely be dropped, because it is only enforced if someone transports drugs to an inmate in custody. La Lohan didn't willingly go to jail last night!

Judges don't take kindly to arrestees whose crimes occur so close together -- so it's quite possible that the proverbial book will be thrown at her. In a worst case scenario, Lilo could face SIX YEARS in jail!
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Words can't express my disdain for this girl.

But this is hilarious:

Britney's Disastrous Photo Shoot

TMZ has learned that Britney's self-arranged photo shoot and interview with OK! Magazine was a complete disaster. We're told that the photos are so bad, execs at the magazine are, at this moment, trying to decide whether to report what actually happened -- or sanitize the truth to protect the pop train wreck.

According to multiple sources, Britney's behavior during the interview was "nothing less than a meltdown." She was, according to our sources, "completely out of it" during the shoot. The photos are "so bad" we've learned, that to publish them could "kill her career." Apparently, Brit Brit's eyes rolled back in her head at one point, causing her to look half dead. Her mood, we're told, was extremely erratic. She took frequent bathroom breaks our source says, and each time she returned her mood would change. She was also completely paranoid during the entire interview, fearing at one point the ceiling was about to cave in on her. Out of control y'all!

We've also learned that Brit had some issues with hygiene on the set as well. At one point, Britney ordered up some fried chicken to munch on. We're told after she chowed down, she wiped her hands on a several thousand dollar Gucci dress that she was wearing for the shoot, staining it with grease. Yuck! One of her dogs also needed some assistance in the housebreaking department. Our on-set spy says that the dog pooped all over the floor, and Brit used (what else?) -- a Chanel dress to clean it up! How trashtastic!As for how Brit looked for the photos, another nightmare. We've learned that OK! hired two of the best hair and makeup artists in L.A. to transform the once-bald beauty into something more presentable, but she wasn't havin' none of that. She refused to let the hired help touch her, opting instead for her "skanky friends" to do her hair and makeup. No wonder she always looks so fantastic!

And if you're wondering where her mom/publicist/lawyer/friend/ANYONE was to help her out, we're told that even her cousin Alli (who until recently was working as her personal assistant) couldn't deal, and is "done" with Miss Spears.

We'll see when OK! hits the stands this week -- if they actually have the balls to print the truth about what happened. We're guessing they don't!

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UPDATE:

A couple more alleged tidbits for you all:

- She chose outfits that were 2 sizes too small, so her rolls of fat were anywhere and everywhere.

- She would talk in baby talk and even piss with the bathroom door wide open!

- She touches and fondles hereself constantly in the breast area and bagina area.


I can't wait for this to come out!! Fucking genius.

This is just sad.

Law enforcement now says Lohan was stopped after cops got a call of a vehicle being chased by another vehicle. The chasing vehicle was being driven by Lohan.

Lohan was driving a white Denali. She was chasing a Cadillac Escalade.

She was initially suspected of driving under the influence of alcohol. A field sobriety test was conducted and she was subsequently arrested for DUI.

At the station, a search of her person was conducted, and cocaine was found in her pants pocket.
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I know that she brought it upon herself and all that, but goddamn her mother.

GROSS.

It's a hairy Brit pit. Ick. Why is she in public with her top undone flashing her unshaved pits to the paparazzi? Wrong. I know that I use the term 'wrong' almost every time I mention Britney Spears, but come on - there really is no other word for it.