Goddamn.

Comparison picture courtesy of Mollygood. Wow. I was just looking at pictures of her earlier and thinking how pretty her face was, but then pull away - and she is just a little skeleton lady.

Britney Spears : Still crazy.

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, I was busy at work on my soapbox derby car and haven't really had access to the internet. Okay, enough excuses - good news! Britney Spears is still nuts! Here she is wandering around Hollywood with one blue eye and one brown eye - and no pants on! Goddamn I love her.
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Britney Spears without extensions

hmm.
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Cory Feldman... brown hair then, brown hair NOW

Nevermind - THIS is the greatest magazine cover.

Kevin Federline & Britney Spears' mom?? Man oh man, when is this shit going to stop??? I feel like my head might explode!!!!
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On the rare chance you haven't seen this yet...

...I give you - Chocolate Rain.

Best magazine cover EVER.

"Topless, drunk and lonely"= Best. Phrase. Ever. (To see what incident they are referring to, see two posts down)
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Whatever happened to Lauren Hill?

no words.
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Britney Spears takes off her top and makes out with some random dude in a pool. Downward spiral continues.

Here's the story in case you're interested:

And now, the always glorious Sun UK has pictures of Britney, topless and drunk in a pool making out with a guy she just met. They also have new details, which can only be described by whatever word means the exact opposite of "shocking". And yes, she tried to F a gay guy. (NOTE - the Sun calls him "Mike Encinias", Us magazine calls him "Matt Encinias", I call him the luckiest man in the whole world.)


Britney’s assistant hand-picked Mike and a group of male pals to go to her hotel for drinks by the pool.
Mike explained: “Britney was drinking Mojitos and she’d been drinking some Jack Daniel’s
“Suddenly she shocked everyone by just stripping out of her top.
“She went into the pool topless - her boobs were exposed and she had a drink in her hand and a hat on with sunglasses.”
Mike says he kissed Britney after her assistant told him the singer wanted to “make out” with him.
He said: “She straddled me and put her legs around me.
“When I started kissing her I did everything in my power - from my previous experience of kissing girls - not to mess it up.
“Britney had more drinks - she was having Jack and more Mojitos in between me feeling her up, her boobs, and kissing her on her neck.
“Her body was very nice. It was sexual and sensual kissing. It took some effort to perfect.
“She is a great kisser - I’d actually say a phenomenal kisser.”
Mike was invited back to Britney’s suite once the party was over at 4am.
He said: “I went in and found Britney lying on the bed with her knees up and just a pair of pink panties on.
“She was looking like she was ready - and I wanted to finalise it.”
He was planning to spend the rest of the night in her bed — until one of his friends collapsed and nearly drowned from all the booze he had downed.
Britney’s bodyguards stepped in and ordered Mike to take his mate home.
Mike added: “In the end we had to say our goodbyes.”


Oh Britney... she is the gift that just keeps on giving.

SO excited.

yay!

Photoshop time!

Okay, so Mr. Tim Riley had a dream last night that I dyed his hair red & blue striped, and then put it in cornrows. Please to be sending your photoshopped version of said dream to rick@rickemerson.com. Love it.

Lindsay, pre-2nd DUI

See, celebrities aren't all perfect-looking all the time! Well, I guess that her mugshot showed us that already... but I couldn't resist posting this one. Click on the picture for extra-large version.
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mmm.... Britney like ketchup.

Ms. Spears fine-dinin' yesterday afternoon. She's saving it for later, ya'll.

I am unreasonably angry about this.

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - Turncoat Michael is making a "Lost" comeback. Harold Perrineau, who plays the character last seen betraying his fellow crash survivors to save himself and his son, will return to the show next season.

ABC Entertainment President Stephen McPherson didn't offer any details Wednesday of what's in store for Michael. He also didn't say whether Walt, the son played by Malcolm David Kelley, will be seen again.

The pair fled the mysterious island where the crash victims were struggling to survive against the dangerous "Others," with desperate Michael turning over his friends in exchange for escape.

The network had planned to make the "Lost" announcement at Comic-Con International, the comic book and pop-culture show starting Thursday in San Diego. But McPherson, speaking to a meeting of the Television Critics Association, was pressed for the information.

Earlier this year, ABC said will run for three more seasons, concluding in 2009-10. The series will return for its fourth season in January.

Fuckity fuck! Well, I hope to god they don't bring creepy Walt back so he can stand in the corner of tents dripping wet looking all scary and telling them to "shh" and then disappearing into the forest. Man oh man, I really am NOT happy about this... unless Michael has been trapped with Walt on the boat that the "Others" sent him away on after betraying his friends and he was lost at sea and Walt died and Michael had to eat him, therefore staying alive longer only to drift back to the island that he had escaped from. And then when they see him they shoot him and he dies. That is the only scenario to which I will be mildly okay with the fact the the most annoying character -ever- on television is getting a second chance on a fantastic show. Grr.

Extensions are sexxxxxxy

Just keeps getting better and better... thank you, Britney. Thank you.
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Now, this is just embarrassing.

I, for one, do not desire to see Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise dry-humping on the dance floor... this is just sad. This picture was taken at the "Welcome to America, Beckhams" party, where after Katie & Tom did said bumping & grinding, somebody put on "Old Time Rock N' Roll" and he proceeded to relive his youth by doing his Risky Business dance. Good lord.

She is, in two words, completely fucked.

UPDATE:

Lindsay Lohan might be adding a whole lotta striped jumpsuits to her wardrobe.

Already facing charges for driving under the influence and misdemeanor hit and run in Beverly Hills, Lindsay racked up even more charges last night in Santa Monica, and is now facing big-time jail time.

The maximum sentence she faced for the original DUI and hit and run charges was 6 months for each. Last night, Lindsay was charged with another DUI -- if convicted of both DUIs, she could face up to one year in jail. And the horror doesn't stop there! She was also charged with possession of cocaine, which is a felony and carries a maximum of three years in jail.

La Lohan is accused of driving on a suspended license as well, which carries a maximum of one year in jail. Her frenemy Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days for the same offense.

As far as the allegation of bringing cocaine into a correctional facility -- our sources tell us that this charge will most likely be dropped, because it is only enforced if someone transports drugs to an inmate in custody. La Lohan didn't willingly go to jail last night!

Judges don't take kindly to arrestees whose crimes occur so close together -- so it's quite possible that the proverbial book will be thrown at her. In a worst case scenario, Lilo could face SIX YEARS in jail!
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Words can't express my disdain for this girl.

But this is hilarious:

Britney's Disastrous Photo Shoot

TMZ has learned that Britney's self-arranged photo shoot and interview with OK! Magazine was a complete disaster. We're told that the photos are so bad, execs at the magazine are, at this moment, trying to decide whether to report what actually happened -- or sanitize the truth to protect the pop train wreck.

According to multiple sources, Britney's behavior during the interview was "nothing less than a meltdown." She was, according to our sources, "completely out of it" during the shoot. The photos are "so bad" we've learned, that to publish them could "kill her career." Apparently, Brit Brit's eyes rolled back in her head at one point, causing her to look half dead. Her mood, we're told, was extremely erratic. She took frequent bathroom breaks our source says, and each time she returned her mood would change. She was also completely paranoid during the entire interview, fearing at one point the ceiling was about to cave in on her. Out of control y'all!

We've also learned that Brit had some issues with hygiene on the set as well. At one point, Britney ordered up some fried chicken to munch on. We're told after she chowed down, she wiped her hands on a several thousand dollar Gucci dress that she was wearing for the shoot, staining it with grease. Yuck! One of her dogs also needed some assistance in the housebreaking department. Our on-set spy says that the dog pooped all over the floor, and Brit used (what else?) -- a Chanel dress to clean it up! How trashtastic!As for how Brit looked for the photos, another nightmare. We've learned that OK! hired two of the best hair and makeup artists in L.A. to transform the once-bald beauty into something more presentable, but she wasn't havin' none of that. She refused to let the hired help touch her, opting instead for her "skanky friends" to do her hair and makeup. No wonder she always looks so fantastic!

And if you're wondering where her mom/publicist/lawyer/friend/ANYONE was to help her out, we're told that even her cousin Alli (who until recently was working as her personal assistant) couldn't deal, and is "done" with Miss Spears.

We'll see when OK! hits the stands this week -- if they actually have the balls to print the truth about what happened. We're guessing they don't!

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UPDATE:

A couple more alleged tidbits for you all:

- She chose outfits that were 2 sizes too small, so her rolls of fat were anywhere and everywhere.

- She would talk in baby talk and even piss with the bathroom door wide open!

- She touches and fondles hereself constantly in the breast area and bagina area.


I can't wait for this to come out!! Fucking genius.

This is just sad.

Law enforcement now says Lohan was stopped after cops got a call of a vehicle being chased by another vehicle. The chasing vehicle was being driven by Lohan.

Lohan was driving a white Denali. She was chasing a Cadillac Escalade.

She was initially suspected of driving under the influence of alcohol. A field sobriety test was conducted and she was subsequently arrested for DUI.

At the station, a search of her person was conducted, and cocaine was found in her pants pocket.
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I know that she brought it upon herself and all that, but goddamn her mother.

GROSS.

It's a hairy Brit pit. Ick. Why is she in public with her top undone flashing her unshaved pits to the paparazzi? Wrong. I know that I use the term 'wrong' almost every time I mention Britney Spears, but come on - there really is no other word for it.