Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Britney Spears takes off her top and makes out with some random dude in a pool. Downward spiral continues.

Here's the story in case you're interested:

And now, the always glorious Sun UK has pictures of Britney, topless and drunk in a pool making out with a guy she just met. They also have new details, which can only be described by whatever word means the exact opposite of "shocking". And yes, she tried to F a gay guy. (NOTE - the Sun calls him "Mike Encinias", Us magazine calls him "Matt Encinias", I call him the luckiest man in the whole world.)

Britney’s assistant hand-picked Mike and a group of male pals to go to her hotel for drinks by the pool.
Mike explained: “Britney was drinking Mojitos and she’d been drinking some Jack Daniel’s
“Suddenly she shocked everyone by just stripping out of her top.
“She went into the pool topless - her boobs were exposed and she had a drink in her hand and a hat on with sunglasses.”
Mike says he kissed Britney after her assistant told him the singer wanted to “make out” with him.
He said: “She straddled me and put her legs around me.
“When I started kissing her I did everything in my power - from my previous experience of kissing girls - not to mess it up.
“Britney had more drinks - she was having Jack and more Mojitos in between me feeling her up, her boobs, and kissing her on her neck.
“Her body was very nice. It was sexual and sensual kissing. It took some effort to perfect.
“She is a great kisser - I’d actually say a phenomenal kisser.”
Mike was invited back to Britney’s suite once the party was over at 4am.
He said: “I went in and found Britney lying on the bed with her knees up and just a pair of pink panties on.
“She was looking like she was ready - and I wanted to finalise it.”
He was planning to spend the rest of the night in her bed — until one of his friends collapsed and nearly drowned from all the booze he had downed.
Britney’s bodyguards stepped in and ordered Mike to take his mate home.
Mike added: “In the end we had to say our goodbyes.”

Oh Britney... she is the gift that just keeps on giving.


Randy in Minnesota (formerly Texas) said...

God bless Britney Spears. I mean, on days when you're feeling kind of down and there's nothing in the news, there she is to brighten up the day with her drunken, slutty antics. This story could be completely false for all I this point I would believe anything I hear about her. And yeah...I'd still McHit it.

Seumas said...

I was really sad because as I was leaving the apartment complex, one of the bunnies from the golf course was flopping around like a fish on the concrete, because some jerk had smashed it's brain in with his car and nobody had bothered to put it out of its misery.

But then there's more repulsive Britney news and I'm happy, again.

Who are these guys out there willingly hooking up with Britney, though? I mean, maybe if you're drunk and desperate, but other than convenience, why would you EVER... gaaah.

stevobar said...

Ya know, this reminds me of the old Eddie Murphy bit...Britney is so toxic and bacteria infested, you won't catch a disease from just stick your dink in her and explode...I'll admit it though, in front of God and everyone, that at one point in time I could have mustered up the courage to "take the plunge" into that human cesspool...sadly, I can no longer drink enough to perform such other-worldly feats. I'd just pass out and drown in the hot tub like this poor slob's buddy....

Shovelhead said...

Not to worry, Steveobar; the pool chlorine should have killed at least some of Brittany's crotch crickets. But - "her assistant" had to tell the dude she wanted to make out with him? He's gay? I hope Brits lives to be 90 so we always have her to laugh at.

stevobar said...

I think we'll all outlive her at this rate..

Randy in Minnesota said...

I think the best thing about the new Britney is the very real possibility that she is "accessible". In other words...if you hang around enough public swimming pools, trailer parks, and public restrooms, then you have a shot with her.

Or George Michael, at the very least.

gay bob said...

Can you say "male prostitute," boys and girls. Lucky fucking bitch.

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