Nicholas Cage is a sexy sexy man.

Um, what's going on with the hair? Last I saw him he was a balding middle-aged man in Face-Off. Yes, Face-Off. I'm not ashamed; I liked that movie- bring it on, bitches! Anyway, the black bobbed half-wig that he's chosen to attach to the back of his head just ain't working. I hope to god he had it put on for a movie and just couldn't get the glue unstuck in time to rock the red carpet. Fingers crossed.
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That nose job isn't working out so well for her.

Damn. I was giving the girl a break so that the swelling could go down (she had this nose job done a couple of weeks ago) but it looks like this is the way it's gonna be, so I'm going to post it. What the hell did she do to herself?? That is just so sad and wrong... she's already had so much work done, why did she have to keep messing with her face? Oh, poor Courtney.
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More Paris Hilton shit.

You can find a bunch of pictures of other prescriptions and whatnot here. Wow.

Kevin Federline's superbowl commercial. It's fucking brilliant.

First scan of a page of Paris' journal

Damn. In one page the girl expresses that she has problems with drinking, drugs, and bulimia. She really should have paid that storage unit bill.

Not a picture post

I know that this blog is usually all about images, but I thought that this was fascinating and I figured that hey, if you read this, you're probably interested in the same superficial bullshit I am so I'm going to post it. So, here's what's going on: Paris Hilton was renting a storage unit, and she forgot to pay her rent for a few months (at a total around a whopping $200) so she lost her lease, therefore losing custody of her belongings that she had inside. Her people are freaking out, because she left a TON of personal shit in there and somebody now has it all in their possession. There's an entire website dedicated to the findings, but I found a list of some of the things found. Enjoy!

* Prescription bottles for Hydrocodone, a painkiller similar to OxyContin used to manage anxiety disorders, post-party sleep aid Ambien and the herpes medication Valtrex.

* A medical bill from a Los Angeles clinic, billing an "Amber Taylor" - with the same birth date as Paris - for a miscarriage in March 2003.

* A journal analyzing her booze-fueled dreams.

* Her reality TV co-star Nicole Richie's University of Arizona ID card.

* Sister Nicky's Nevada marriage certificate.

* Several bank statements, including one with an ending monthly balance of just $9.26.

* Home videos she shot of visits with her sick grandmother.

* To-do lists that include an assortment of errands, including a reminder to buy Christmas gifts.

No stranger to negative publicity, Hilton is nonetheless "incredibly upset and angry" and feels "victimized" by the blatant invasion of her privacy, according to her spokesman, Eliot Mintz.

He blamed a "bureaucratic foul-up" and is threatening legal action - demanding the items be pulled from the site because it invades his client's privacy.

"We are going to explore all of our legal options about this matter," said Mintz. "She is enormously upset."

Among the hours of video footage on the site is a series of short tapes of a naked Hilton being filmed by Joe Francis, the "Girls Gone Wild" creator, and her former fiancé, Jason Shaw.

Francis tapes the dazed and confused heirhead - first taking off her red bikini top on a yacht in St. Tropez, then later swooshing around in a bubble bath while he begs her to show him her body.

And she doesn't disappoint - eventually hosing off the bubbles.

But on another tape, where Francis is not present, she calls him a "rich loser."

Some of the items show a tender side of Paris - like when she's lying in bed with Shaw, a chiseled Tommy Hilfiger model. She's seen giggling, kissing him and playing with his hair.

Other videos are taped using night vision: she gets drunk and dances on banquettes with Tara Reid, and tapes a shirtless fat guy doing cocaine lines off his own belly.

In Cancun, she describes herself as "the hottest person in the world."

Hilton also tapes rambling messages to friends while filming herself in the mirror, saying she's too busy "smoking pot and eating burgers."

Hilton is also obsessed with to-do lists and details her wacky errands meticulously: "Vet app't - for teeth and wiener, send book to Ford, call Kim, make Xmas list, pick up cage from grandmas, buy a Sidekick, buy Nicky phone - and wrap it."

Scrawled across an entire page is a reminder to "Get s-t out of car!"

Also buried in the book are cut-and-paste collages Paris created of herself - made of paparazzi shots torn from magazines.

Crumpled love letters to the heirhead from ex-fiancé Shaw are scribbled on hotel stationery and reveal intimate details of their time together.

"I could shovel s-t and be happy because I'm with you," he writes.

"I love you. I love the way you move. I love the way you smile."

He also writes about Paris to himself in a diary that she kept: "I am angry at Paris. She always seems to do the wrong thing. She always loses her phone. That is a reason I cannot get in touch with her. It hurts. I feel this pain inside knowing that we do not love equally."

We also get a peek into what Hilton actually does to pass the days instead of work - there are highlighted movie scripts, directions to auditions, scheduled model shoots, appointments with interviewers and movie studios, an actors-union card, voice-lesson reminders and photo proofs of herself.

A number of ID cards - both fake and real - are in their own category.

Hilton's California driver's license is in there along with a fake Ohio resident card, which states she was born in 1979.

She has Nicole Richie's University of Arizona card from her short stint in college and a credit-card-sized fake ID card labeled "Superstar" with a photo of ex- pal Britney Spears.

Hundreds of still photos of her with friends are displayed, along with a scan of the original marriage certificate of sister Nicky's short-lived Vegas wedding to Todd Meister.

Hilton's extensive list of friends' phone numbers is scrawled on everything from dirty napkins to envelopes.

Among the names are Pauly Shore, Kim Stewart and George Maloof, owner of the Palms hotel in Las Vegas. But most are listed by their first names only.

- she took a long bubble bath in front of joe francis and they joke about selling the tape later on (oh how ironic), and about her sex tape (which she seemed to think was funny)- and he kept telling her to give him a show, and she stood up and you just saw her naked (again)........not suprising

- there was a video of her on a bed where there is a crotch shot (shes wearing underwear)- and you see, ew, a tampon string hanging out

- her and jason shaw do everything but have actual sex, she goes 'im on the rag' at the end

- she has prescriptions (there were medical documents online also) for percocet and valium, and one for bleeding. she also has a birth control thing and a medical file which says she had a miscarriage......

- according to her drivers license she is 108 pounds and 5'9 (not 5'10 or 5'11)

- theres an audio tape with her and nicole lenz where they talk about eachothers "smelly pus sies" (and those were their words not mine)

-theres a couple of letters sent from charities to paris, which she never responded to apperently (they were trying to get her to do an aids walk)

-her journals are on hello kitty pink paper and look like a 5 year old wrote them

- she says "I fuck in the butt for money"

- she has some interesting notes, one which says "nine and a half inch co ck" followed by a random phone number and one which says "Vet appt- get dogs weiner checked" haha

- she insults people from compton, saying "broke as s from compton" and "you're all ugly and poor" and a bunch of stuff like that

- there is ALOT of drug use, including pot and shrooms (she laughs and says the shrooms look moldy)- she does them anyways. both her and jason shaw, who was in alot of the videos, are high most of the time

- paris touches herself nude (shes nude in alot of them), and jason spanks her

- paris says "im so hot, im so gorgeous" plenty of times and calls others ugly.....oh yeah and she looks in the mirror and uses the camera as a mirror

-she writes in one of her little notebooks "jason and i like to make fun of others together" and she calls a girl a dy ke, and disses bijou phillips over the phone, going "who wants to go to a party with bijou phillips and cory feldman? what losers, they're so pathetic, its so lame"

- there are alot of videos in parties and big plates and lines of blow on many occasions on the tables

- she talks to someone who says he can get her all these different drugs

oh and i forgot one last thing- theres a video of nicole lenz and paris hilton talking, paris is telling a story about how she cut a whole line waiting to go to the bathroom in a club- and she says " and these security guys pull me out, and im like get off me ni ggers"

she said it with the 'r' at the end, and acted like she says that all the time, like it was no big deal

and they play alot a couple of prank calls (paris and nicky hilton) and calls girls ugly and 'buck toothed'

on one phone conversation, a guy is talking about how rick solomon got paris on heroin and hard drugs at a young age

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Oh, Goldie

It always feels so wrong whenever I post a bad picture of Goldie Hawn, because I love her so. I can't, however, not show this to you, the people. You deserve to see it, even if it pains me to do so. Anyway, here she is in all her glory caught in an unfortunate mid-blink. Those are some big bags she's got going on under her eyes.

Here's some side boob action for you all

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but I've been a bit sick and there really hasn't been much going on in celebrity gossip. That being said, here we have miss Jessica Simpson in desperate need of a bra. Look good from the front, not so much from the side.
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This picture of Jessica Simpson made me laugh

I saw this and really felt that I owed it to you, the people, to post it. Now, I know that Jessica's girls are "all real", but they really do look all plastic-ey in this photo. Feel free to caption!
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Lindsay Lohan enters rehab!

Full story here.

...and Rosie O'Donnell is leaving the View!

Close-up of Paris Hilton's missing tooth

Mmm... gummy.

Gwen Stefani, pre-photoshop

This was one of the promo photos for her new album, before it was touched up, and here's another photo of her, post photoshop. Wow.

Lindsay Lohan.

This girl is 20 years old. 20. I know we all have our days where we look like shit, but she looks like she's starting to do some unfixable damage to herself.

What is going on with Angelina Jolie's arms?

Those are the bulgiest veins I've ever seen on a person. Ew. She's a very pretty lady, but that just looks WRONG. That is all.

This is the picture of the woman that Tim Riley thinks looks like Clyde.

Sorry, Clyde. I love you!

The creepy guy who wrote me on myspace.

"Sarah

Well you are probably thinking that i am just another guy with another profile.
viewing other profiles well i am not. To Tell you the truth; I think most woman are too
conservative for me. If you view
my profile you will see that i am looking for an Exotic,
Seductive, And passionate woman.I am not into the good girl type.I am looking for more of
someone along the lines of an Angelina jolie type of woman. not a girl. You see I love a woman
who have some level of power over people; It is a total turn on.I love a woman who can take
control. having power is a total turn on for me. I prefer power over looks anyday. it is also turn
on when a woman makes the first move.If you view my profile then you will probably
understand where i am coming from. I would love to visit your world and show you my
passionate side

The color black is also a turn on; I get totally turned on by a woman who wears black
( She does not have to wear it all the time)
out

Glen "

EDIT: Hey guys, I want to thank you for standing up for me during this, um, bizarre situation that has escalated to this guy actually making blog posts about it. I decided to take down the link to his myspace page because, as we can all see, this guy has had way too much attention as it is, and we should now leave him alone on his quest to find his perfect 'Angelina Jolie' woman. I know it's amusing, but it's starting to get weird to me that he's writing my website in his ABOUT ME section and writing me more emails... let's just move forward, eh? I love you all very much, you are RAD, and if I get another email like that I will be sure to post it. Thanks!

Not a Britney post!

...although she could be confused with her. I've been wondering what's been going on with Courtney Love lately, and alas, I found her. Melting.

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...And yet another Britney post...

Okay, so 2007 so far is turning out to be a slow year in celebrity gossip, so I'm working with what I can... and that is Britney Spears. Here is a picture of her leaving a restaurant last night. Holy God. And to refresh your memories, I've also posted a picture of what she used to look like. Enjoy!

No, I'm sure that Britney wasn't drinking.

This photo has been all over the internet; I hesitated to post it at first because I thought it was photoshopped. After much research I have found that, no, those are, in fact, her eyes. This was right before she passed out after midnight, and her publicist claims that she wasn't drinking but instead she was "very tired". Hmm. You be the judge.

Is Paris Hilton missing a tooth?

You would think that she would be able to get that fixed, wouldn't you? Hmm. Very strange...