Friday, September 15, 2006

It's your lucky day, boys...


...look who's kissing an "unidentified female (girl)friend" goodbye. Jessica Biel might like the ladies! I've heard (well, read, in the tabloids, because I'm a nerd) about her drunken nights of kissing girlfriends "as a joke", but hmmm... the nightclub seems to be missing, as does the alcohol, as does any other excuse there would be to be kissing a girl in the middle of the day. BTW, doesn't the other girl look kind of like Alyssa Milano?

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Kate Bosworth IS the old lady from There's Something About Mary



No words. No girl's chest should look like that... especially when she's coined to be a "hot, up-and-coming actress". She played Lois Lane, for God sakes! That girl needs to eat, buy a bra, and stop STOP wearing low-cut shirts that show her chicken breasts. See, ladies; this is what happens when you starve yourself and tan constantly... yum.

Monday, September 11, 2006

ew.


Now, to be fair, these pictures could have been taken in a different sequence, and re-posted together to make it seem like Brooke Shields is doing something pretty disgusting... eh, probably not. Enjoy!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

...and John Travolta continues to be bizarre...



Good god, this is just scary. So, this is a picture of John Travolta - really - on the set of the musical Hairspray. I don't even know what to write. It just looks so awful and confusing and bad while at the same time appropriate. I had no idea he was even in a musical, let alone starring as an obese woman in a nightgown. I'm assuming he's playing the mother, although I really have no information about this production - nor do I desire to have any. This picture is going to haunt me for days.

Paris Hilton: Arrested for DUI. boo ya.



From TMZ:

Paris Hilton was arrested in Hollywood early Thursday and charged with driving under the influence.

TMZ has learned LAPD officers noticed Paris driving her Mercedes McLaren SLR erratically at 12:31 AM and stopped her. They believed she exhibited signs of intoxication. We're told they administered a field sobriety test, and Paris blew a .08. In California, driving with a .08 blood alcohol level is the minimum level for DUI.

Paris was arrested and taken to the LAPD Hollywood division, where she was booked. The officers who stopped the car did not know it was Paris Hilton until they approached the vehicle on foot. Police sources say she was cooperative. Paris had a passenger in the car -- Kimberly Stewart, Rod Stewart's daughter.

Nicky Hilton, her boyfriend, "Entourage" star Kevin Connolly and her publicist Elliot Mintz arrived at the Hollywood police station just before 2 AM PST. A short time later, Paris was released on her own recognizance and allowed to leave (Note: The law enforcement booking document says she posted bail. That is incorrect. She did not).

Cops took a booking photo, which an LAPD spokesperson says will not be released. An LAPD source would not confirm if Paris glammed it up for the camera, but revealed "It doesn't look like Nick Nolte."

Mintz told TMZ that Paris had attended a charity event earlier in the evening. He said she had a single drink -- a margarita -- the entire evening and shortly thereafter she was stopped. She was asked to take a breathalyzer test when she was stopped and cooperated. She took a second test at the station. For the record, TMZ is told Paris is 5'9" and weighs 110 lbs.

TMZ spoke with Paris as she was driving home from jail, stopping for Parliament Lights cigarettes en route. She says she "regrets it occurred," and adds that she has been up for 24 hours, having shot a music video all day. (TMZ had exclusive access to the music video set and our video will be posted in a few hours.) Paris says she had nothing to eat and no rest the entire day.

TMZ spoke with Lt. Russ Wong, the watch commander on duty at the Hollywood station. He tells TMZ Paris received no special treatment, however he acknowledges he did not hold her at the station for the standard minimum of three hours. Lt. Wong says he released her after an hour and a half because a gaggle of paparazzi appeared at the station and posed a significant traffic hazard which he needed to abate. Lt. Wong says it's SOP to release a first-time DUI suspect without bail if a responsible party is there to drive them home -- Elliot Mintz was that party.

Driving under the influence is a misdemeanor. If convicted, the defendant will not be jailed, will be given three months' probation, and will be ordered to enter an alcohol program and will have his or her license restricted for 90 days.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Jessica Simpson : 80s hooker.



Dude. When they fall, they fall hard, and Jessica Simpson is looking a little worse for wear. Wow. I know that I have moments where I'm looking less than stellar, but this takes the prize - she looks like a drunk prostitute.

Suri Cruise. Eh.


I can't believe I've been waiting for this. Is it just me, or does the baby look slightly asian?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

What goes around, comes around...



...as you may remember from last week, Paris Hilton was as happy as can be when she was escorted right into a popular nightclub as Tara Reid was denied and had to wait outside with the common folk. Alas, times have changed, and here is little miss Hilton waiting outside as she, herself, is REJECTED from entrance into a club (in case you care, it's Bungalow 8).

Oh, her sweet sweet tears warm the cockles of my heart. I guess you can't get everything you want.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

I know she's the First Lady of Soul...


...but come on. Messed up is messed up, and she needs to tuck those babies in. Good god - I have nothing to say.

Wrong wrong.


wrong wrong wrong wrong. From the makers of "the Britney-birthing statue" and "the naked chest of Hillary Rodham-Clinton" I give you Suri Cruise's first poop. What is wrong with this world?

What people have suspected for years.


Since his Saturday Night Fever days, rumors of John Travolta's alleged homosexuality have run rampant. Now, here he his, bidding farewell to an "unidentified male companion". Hmm. Can't wait to hear the PR people's explanation for this.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Dina Lohan is an outstanding mother.


These pictures show what I've assumed to be true the entire time: that Lindsay Lohan is a fine, upstanding young lady with a great role model for a mother... I can't even count the times that my mom & I hung out in hotel rooms looking totally strung out, drinking bottles of Jack Daniels, sorting through designer handbags, and photographing eachother - sometimes topless when we've had a little too much whiskey - oh, we are crazy girls.

Thanks to the person who leaked these onto the internet so we can see exactly what the life of a glamorous Hollywood starlet is like - living in dirty, clothes-filled hotel rooms, partying with your MOM, taking pictures in your underwear
while flipping off the camera, and playing dress-up. Wow. Exciting stuff.

Enjoy this look into the private life of Lindsay Lohan!
source

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Cher patiently waits for her new face to be put on.


She looks like Edward Scissorhands when Dianne Wiest's character is trying to fix up the cuts on his face with all of the Avon goop. How could you not love this crazy woman?

STAR Magazine does my work for me.


Good god, man. I can't believe that she is still sticking to the "I'm not anorexic" story... I would say that would probably be the story she should run with since she is looking like an emaciated crack whore. She's gotta be doing something, and if she's being accused of "not eating" that is a hell of a lot better than other methods she could be using to look like a stick woman - a.k.a. "the heroin". She should just pick a story and go with it, because the way she looks is not normal or healthy. Ugh, and the saggy skin hanging from her bones around her waist is awful, not to mention the sunken chest and unnattractive face. Hmm.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Raddest purse EVER.



Thank you so much to Catherine & Ali, owners of Good Karma in Vancouver, WA for creating one of the most kick-ass handbags I've ever seen. This is what was awaiting me on my chair in our tiny radio studio this morning; I am very appreciative.

Anyway, hope to see you all at Dante's tonight where I'll flaunt it relentlessly and become the envy of every female Storm Large fan in the place... I even think that guys would sport this since it has not one, but TWO pictures of her fabulous face on it. See you tonight!

(here's a contact if you'd like more info about Good Karma)

Monday, August 14, 2006

Lindsay Lohan has a huge swollen armpit.



Oh wait.... I'm sorry... I guess that is her enormous fake breast from the side. Come on you disbelievers, it's just not possible that she got implants. Sure, she weighs 100 lbs. and when you lose your body fat your breasts usually deflate along with the rest of your body, but I find it hard to believe that she is walking around with giant plastic bags full of silicone attached to the front of her. Sure.

**EDIT** Here's a close-up for all of you who requested it.

I feel dirty.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Nicole Ritchie, fashion icon.

Damn, this girl is HOT. H-O-T. Happy weekend!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Suri pictures a bit closer...


...labeled with my ghetto microsoft paint tool from 1994.