ew ew ew. ew ew.

WRONG! I am so grossed out by this but I've gotta post it. Here are the latest pics of Michael Jackson, with his scraped up nose and brown fingernails. After much speculation on the internet about why his nails would be said color, a blogger noted that sometimes chemotherapy makes your nails turn brown. Does Michael Jackson have cancer, or does he just not wear gloves when he dyes his hair? Inquiring minds want to know...

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Britney Spears infuriates me.

This is what is bothering me: this, right now is Britney Spears time to shine and win back the people and re-establish herself as hot in the public eye, and she's FUCKING BLOWING IT. Britney! Take off the goddamn santa hat! And why, dear sweet god why, are you wearing white sunglasses at night? And the sweater. I don't even know where to begin with the sweater. Too tight? Yes. Too short? You bet. Too see-through? Yup. Left boob hanging over the top of your bra so you can see it through your see-through sweater? Done and done.

I am a pro-Britney girl, I want her to take all of her money and leave douchebag Kevin with nothing. It is, however, a lot harder to support her on the issue when she steps out in public looking like a holiday stripper just getting off stage. Grr. Get a stylist, and for the love of god, please don't wear anymore kooky hats in public.

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Tara Reid - post makeover

Wow. Tara is looking SOOO much better than I've ever seen her... well, I thought she was pretty when she filmed Josie & the Pussycats (one of my favorite movies ever) but this is a fabulous look for her as well. Good job, Tara!

Lindsay Lohan looks beat.

I know, I know, we all know that she's on a downward spiral, but I just can't help it... when she's walking around like a breast-implanted blind homeless person with no fashion sense I've got to deliver the picture to the people. Boy oh boy.

Lindsay Lohan thinks Paris Hilton is a c*nt.

I don't have a problem writing out the whole word, but after seeing it written out on on the screen it just looked ugly... so I added a happy little asterisk and all is right with the world. Gotta love the drunken rantings of a coked-out Lindsay Lohan.

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Nicole Richie IS Jerri Blank

Boo ya.

In case you don't know where Jerri Blank is from, she's a character played by Amy Sedaris on Strangers with Candy.

I know the past couple of days have been a little Britney-heavy...

...but what can you do? This is her week to be in the news, and frankly there isn't much else happening in bad celeb pictures. So, this is the picture that asks the question: does Britney have implants? I think the answer to that would be yes, my friends, giant, lopsided ones.

What do you think: full of milk, or full of silicone? :)

Holy shit, Britney Spears files for divorce!!

TMZ obtained the legal papers, filed today in Los Angeles County Superior Court, citing "irreconcilable differences." In her petition, Spears asks for both legal and physical custody of the couple's two children, one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James, with Federline getting reasonable visitation rights.

As for money, sources tell TMZ the couple, who married in Sept. 2004, has an iron-clad prenup. Not surprisingly, Spears is waiving her right to spousal support. She's also asking the judge to make each party pay their own attorney's fees.

Spears gives the date of separation as yesterday, the same day she flaunted her incredible revamped physique during a surprise appearance on David Letterman's show. Sources tell TMZ there was no single reason for Britney pulling the plug, rather, it was "a string of events."

Spears has hired powerhouse celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who has repped a number of celebs, including Angelina Jolie, Nick Lachey and Kiefer Sutherland. We're told Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe asked Wasser to rep both of them in their split, but Wasser declined for personal reasons.


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Faith Hill is a sore loser.

Gold. Pure gold. Her publicist has released a statement saying that Faith Hill was "obviously joking". I don't fucking think so. Genius!

Britney Spears #1

Britney on Letterman last night...

Britney Spears #2

...and another picture of her out and about... she's looking better, even though she is wearing way too much make-up and Sharon Stone's hair style circa 1994. Ah, looks like she's on the road to recovery.

Oh, and since it's a slow gossip day...

...here is a link to My Chemical Romance's website that you can listen to their latest album "The Black Parade" on. I've been babbling about this to my friends, Rick can't stop talking about it, so if you want to hear what we've been jabbering on and on about check it out.

www.theblackparade.com

New Meat Loaf song.

I know that not everyone admires Meat Loaf, but I am a huge fan of his & Jim Steinman's, and I have loved this song for years (even though it was performed by the highly unlikeable Celine Dion previously). I have always loved his crazy gothic-themed videos, and this one is no exception... hope you like it, because in this day and age of videos that only feature have half-naked chicks gyrating and guys driving around in ridiculously over-priced cars it's nice to see a music video with a plot line. I write way too many run-on sentences.

Enjoy!

DAMN.

Sister is looking HAGGARD. I think that all of her hard partying has finally caught up to her... she does not look anywhere near 20 years old. What is with the bags? The bloodshot eyes? This is the premiere of the biggest fucking movie of her career so far and she couldn't stay in for just one night? Grr. I don't mean to be so bitchy, but isn't it annoying to anyone else? Girls like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton basically run our country (at least take up most of the media's time) and why? So we can watch the waste away from anorexia and drug addictions? Whatever. Sometimes I can't believe I have this blog to pander to these slut monkeys.

Here is Lindsay Lohan, richer than any of us will ever be, and not grateful for it whatsoever. Oh well. I'm done ranting. Anyway, I hope to see you all at the Leykis listener party this afternoon at Barracuda ( 9 NW 2nd) at 3PM (doors at 2PM). I swear I'll be in a good mood. Let's drink!

Ooooo, it's a zombie...

...oh no, it's Nicole Ritchie and her freak arm. This girl just looks ill... I bet if she wiped off all of the make-up on her face she'd be as pale as a ghost and just sickly-looking.

Pamela Anderson has bald patches.

..Okay, maybe not bald patches, but she's got some seriously terrible hair extensions going on. I know that Pamela is the queen of gorgeous fake-looking women with the blonde hair and huge boobs and tan skin and tons of make-up, I just don't want to see how she's pieced together... nobody wants to see an implant poking out of her, and I sure don't want to see her chunks of hair she has glued to her scalp.

Jessica love meatball.

Jessica Simpson is a beautiful eater. Listen, I'm not the most attractive shoving a wad of ground beef in my mouth, either, but she's sitting outside in front of the paparazzi. She should KNOW better... or at least wear her sunglasses to disguise the look of bliss on her face as she shoves her maw with yet another forkful of juicy shoveled meat.

Nick Lachey wins.

Happy Halloween!

Here's your treat! Our own engineer Shawn Cupples dressed up as Orgasmo. Check out the silver codpiece, mmm mmm mmm.

I love my job.

Suzanne Somers: Ageless?

Um... no. I think that if you click on this picture you can see the horrible, super extra large picture of this self-described "ageless" beauty. I, like many other girls my age, was a huge fan on Step-By-Step, and those days for Suzanne are LOOONNG gone - she's wrinkle-icious. I know, that's not a word, but it's the only thing that comes to mind when I look at her.

She doesn't look so bad with the picture being small, so if you'd like to not taint the image in your mind of her physical appearance don't enlarge the photo. Mmmm leathery face.

Oh boy.

Bill Maher as Steve Irwin.
Somebody's going to hell.