Thursday, March 01, 2007

The funniest story I have ever read. Ever. Isn't that right, donkey?

Lonely man brought donkey to hotel room, court told
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A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week.
Thomas Aloysius McCarney with an address in south Galway was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before the court on Friday. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage.
Solicitor for the accused Ms Sharon Fitzhenry said that her client had been through a difficult time lately and that his wife had left him and that his life had become increasingly lonely.
“Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things. It was this advice that saw him book into the city centre hotel with a donkey,” she said. She added that Mr McCarney also suffered from a fixation with the Shrek movies and could constantly be heard at work talking to himself saying things like “Isn’t that right, Donkey?”
Supt John McBrearty told the court that Mr McCarney who had signed in as “ Mr Shrek” had told hotel staff that the donkey was a family pet and that this was believed by the hotel receptionist who the supt said was “young and hadn’t great English.”
Receptionist Irina Legova said that Mr McCarney had told her that the donkey was a breed of “super rabbit” which he was bringing to a pet fair in the city. The court was told that the donkey went berserk in the middle of the night and ran amok in the hotel corridor, forcing hotel staff to call the gardai.
McCarney was found in the room wearing a latex suit and handcuffs, the key to which the donkey is believed to have swallowed. He was removed to Mill St station after which it is said he was the subject of much mirth among the lads next door in The Galway Arms.
He was fined €2,000 for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837. Other charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

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6 comments:

Seumas said...

I'm feeling a bit lonely out here by myself in Denver. Anybody know someone with a spare donkey?!

stevobar said...

..and the donkey's name was derick...

Shovelhead said...

Stevobar - Excellent!

Zing!

BurningSensation said...

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's run afowl of the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837.
Am I right? Am I right???

burn said...

I've been listening to the podcast over and over again, just to hear the part with the giant bunny explination.

god-damn. tears. its too good to be true..

you have to use that as a promo.

Seumas said...

Am I the only one who took every chance possible to say Isn't that right, Donkey? all weekend?