Thursday, February 22, 2007

Britney is crazy.

This is outside of Kevin Federline's house last night, after he wouldn't answer the door. Damn.



Aaron said...

Hello... My name is Britney Spears... You shaved my head... Prepare to die!!!

Damn man...

seumas said...

Sarah Dylan is my hero. This is the greatest thing that has happened since . . . well . . . Anna Nicole ate dirt.

She clearly has lost it. Why doesn't someone close to her get her into rehab and KEEP her there? I'm sorry, but if she were my daughter, ex-wife, girlfriend or sister, I would stand in the doorway of the rehab center day and night to ensure she got some care.

I'm not ashamed to find this bizarrely entertaining, but someone has to do something. Not only because of her children but because this girl is clearly suffering some sort of "famous child" complex.

I was forced into wrestling before I was even old enough for school and my dedication to the sport for over a decade prevented me from having a lot of experiences other children have. Danny Bonaduce talks about this a lot and I can really identify with it. At some point, things have to come to a head if you were always under some sort of spotlight or someones thumb as she has been.

It's sad that she didn't go nuts and wild until after she had children, but that doesn't change the fact that she's lived a fast-track life that skipped a lot of experiences and circumstances that help most people develop.

If this apparent "COPS: Live on TV" episode of her life doesn't convince someone to step in and do something for her sake, I don't know what will. Maybe all the tabloids and record companies that have used her as a cash cow for the last decade should do the right thing and, while laughing at her antics, get together and get her on the right path. (Just as long as the right path isn't some weird psycho religious rebirth thing).

I love my women crazy, but Britney - honey - you're too crazy even for me. And I banged a girl who had previously banged a hermaphrodite and loved it. So get your Aliens-wannabe-ass back to rehab and KEEP it there this time.

Sara said...

I do not feel guilty for laughing out loud at this.

Does that make me a bad person?

seumas said...

Yes, Sara. A bad person. But a great American! :D

Aaron said...

Me thinks a Tom Cruise'esqu intervention is nigh... Only the healing power of Zenu can save her!!!

See... We can two great moments at once... Katie Holmes can be freed and Britney can become the new Mrs. Cruise!


seumas said...

Aaron... you are freaking genius. Britney turning to Xenu would be the greatest single entertainment related event in my life time. I'd say it's too good to be true, but 2007 seems to be the year for the impossibly absurd to happen.

Aaron said...

Maybe they could get that Dade County judge to marry them... Best wedding EVER!

Joe said...

I know the entire point of this blog - and others like it - is to have fun laughing at other people's misfortunes... a sport I can enjoy just as much as anybody... but every now & again, I just feel compelled to point out 2 things:

1) I'm pretty sure that none of us is about to win a Nobel prize for any of our great additions to society;

2) I'm really glad I'm not so famous that I have a constant supply of photoggers & bloggers continually going on and on about me!

I'm just saying...

seumas said...

I'm going to send this to Sarah and Rick, so they can find a singer for it in preparation for the day Britney does her swan dive:

Goodbye Britney Spears
To be performed by Kevin Federline to the tune of Elton John's "Candle In the Wind"

To the tune of "Candle in the Window" by Elton John

Goodbye Britney Spears
I guess I took you for it all
You were a mousekateer
Before you took the fall
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
They set you on the path
That sent you into fame

And it seems to me you lived your life
Just like a honkey in a trailer park
Never knowing who to run to
When the Pabst ran out
And I would have liked to have known you
But you were just a kid
Your white trash took over your soul
Before the paparazzi ever did

Trashiness was tough
And so was the price you paid
Taboids made you a superstar
And you made headlines when you got laid
Even when you died
Oh how we still hounded you
All the papers had to say
Was that Britney was found in the nude

Goodbye Britney Spears
From your ex-husband Fenderline
Who sees you as something more than sexual
And would hit you, baby, one more time

stevobar said...

Hey Joe - Speak for yourself.

1. If Al Gore can win a Nobel prize,(and he may), I think we ALL still have a chance too.

2. Now that you've posted here, you have automatically achieved a certain level of exposure and noteriety, and now you, my friend, are fair game too...

3. If knothead ho's like Britney really didn't want the attention, they could avoid can't tell me that Britney couldn't have shaved her goddamned head at home... She must have a razor, judging from the previous pictures we have seen of her "nether regions"

Britney is the best celebrity spinning out of control ever!

Joe said...

Touche, Stevobar, touche!

Like I said, every now and again I just feel compelled... I'm sure it won't happen again for a long, long time.

Game on!

seumas said...

You can can have sympathy and amuse ourselves at the same time. We're not profiting from her problems and we didn't cause her problems. I don't think feeling bad for celebrities while indulging in their spiraling stories have to cancel each other out.

Ash said...

Sort of a white-trash, demented Mary Poppins.

"Fuck a spoon full of sugar, the medicine is going down one hole or another, pick and pick fast."

derick said...


Matthew said...

Thank God that when I've went bat-shit crazy, no one was following me around with cameras. As much fun as it is to watch, I have to admit I feel really bad for her- she is clearly in a really bad place. Britney-at this point anti-psychotics are going to be your best friend. GET HELP NOW!

Shovelhead said...

Ahhhh-Haaa-HAAAA-HAHAHAHA!!! Oh, Jesus - make it stop; I can't breathe. HAAAA-HAAA-HAAAAAA!!! (gasp)!. wait a minute - OK, - HAAA-HAAAAAA!!! This is simply THE funniest thing I have ever seen, bar none. Attacking the SUV with a fawking umbrella is more than I can take. Haaa-HAAA-HAAAAAA!!! I honestly tried tossing some sympathy her way, but now I can't; I just can't. HAAAA-HAAAAAAAAA! Gawd - my ribs hurt.

BEST BLOG SIGHT EVER. I hope this goes on forvere.

seumas said...

I agree, Shovel. While some are rooting for Britney to bite it, I am thinking long term.

Would you rather have one enormous flashpoint of excitement and insanity from Britney leaping out of some downtown PDX hotel? Or continued insanity dragging out over the next decade?

I mean, even if she gets some help which I know we all hope she does, she'll continue to provide the world with great material. Maybe she'll be a reborn jesus freak or as Aaron said - find Xenu.

I would love to see Britney running around with an umbrella and a shaved head, half naked down Hollywood boulevard shouting "Help me Xenu! Help me Tom Cruise!".

Step Sequencer said...

Didn't anyone tell Britney that the auditions for "V for Vendetta" were over?

Rob said...

You people have it all wrong. Britney just landed the role of Uncle Fester in The Addams Family: The Rehab Years.

Steve said...

She's tweaking...You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park outta the girl...She wanted to be pop singer.

Sara said...

HA! Brilliant song, Seumas. Just imaging FedEx singing that song has guarantease me a good morning.

All Hail Xenu.

Theresa said...

She is out of her friggen mind! I never....repeat NEVER... thought I would hear myself say this...but, at this point I hope Kevin does get custody of the children!

Theresa said...

....and a little hint to Brit..
"If you want to damage the SOB's vehicle don't use a Dollar Tree Umbrella, use a bat or a crow bar maybe even your bald head!"
Just throwing an idea or two out.

seumas said...

This morning, I heard on CNN that the SUV she was smashing with her umbrella actually belonged not to Federline, but to one of the paparazzi. I guess I can understand that, but . . . not a good way to keep them at bay. :D

gay bob said...

This has made my entire week worth living!

Theresa said...

"LMFAO" Laughing My Fucking Ass Off at Gay Bob! And hey Seumas, as always thanks for the true scoop on the SUV! You are a good fact digger.

seumas said...

Let's pool our money together!

I'll throw in $10. Now we only need another $999,990. Hell, we could make a merkinball out of it!

Mankarlen said...

mankOk a note of reason perhaps she may have a reason to be pissed off. Her going pyshco on a car is not the most
inteligent thing to do though. i am quite sure there are alot of behind the sences issues that are not in the media concerning her soon to be ex. who's only call to fame was her and he is using it to make his own name. it appears to me everything she is doing is just to embarace federline.

BurningSensation said...

That 1st picture looks like the guy
who took all those people to "ride the comet" a few years ago.