Monday, February 04, 2008

Why does this woman still have a career? And why did Randy Jackson grow sideburns and play guitar along to her shit song?


This is the WORST thing I have ever seen... and by worst I mean best. And by best I mean do you see the dancing girls with the shoulder pads?? Ugh. Why does she have a job? And what on God's green earth warranted her a slot before the Superbowl? And why am I writing about her? Sister, sometimes you've just gotta put the spandex outfits back in your closet and just resort to being a middle-aged alcoholic who cries while watching 14-year-old boys sing Justin Timberlake songs and, for the love of god, NEVER PERFORM AGAIN. Unless it's with a cartoon cat. I dislike you.

Enjoy her midlife crisis!
source

30 comments:

Mykie said...

She still has a career because of the crazy! You wanna talk stars just itchin' for a meltdown? She's right up there on the list.

Seumas said...

If you're entertained by the superbowl, chances are good Paula Abdul is right up your alley, too. They were just pandering to their core audience.

stevobar said...

That was not just weak, it was truly awful...way sucky. The questions you pose with the video clip are strictly rhetorical at this point...'nuff said.

Niki C said...

Oh dear goodness.....this is why I don't watch the pre-game.

Greg and Kim said...

I am still baffled by the selection of Tom Petty.
Why?


Greg in Canby

Seumas said...

Next year, half time will be a reformed NKOTB, BITCHES!

Neva said...

Paula Abdul's performance was only a handful-of-Vicodin less than Britney's VMA performance, methinks.

stevobar said...

Even Tom Petty sounded old and irrelevant..next year..LED ZEPPELIN!!!!

stevobar said...

and by the way, shame on you, seumas. This whole nkotb reunion thing needs to just stop, and I mean right now!

Shovelhead said...

Physics note:

The thickness and tightness of the spandex is directly proportional to the amount of cellulite can be squeezed and hidden by said spandex.

Please to be noting Paula is wearing the commercial grade, max heavy-duty spandex capable of elevating her saggy boobs and ass, plus smooth out cellulite of tidal wave dimesnions. Ick!

scamorama said...

Any vote from Simon yet?

jareth said...

Too bad she didn't get "something" from Magic when she was a lakers girl.

jareth said...

....straight up and tell me.....

....um... die.

Seumas said...

I miss Britney. This just isn't the same. Stupid 5150.

Niki C said...

You know, between Paula's saggy boobs and Tom Petty's old-man denture lisp, I'm wondering if Janet Jackson ruined Super Bowl entertainment for good...

Joni said...

I dunno... I thought it was pretty good considering her injuries and stuff. Better than I could do.

gay bob said...

Somebody always has to ruin things by being charitable.

Joe said...

Paula who?

Am I the only one convinced Tom Petty was lip-syncing his ass off?!

stevobar said...

All of the super bowl entertainment sucked hind tit..i nearly pucked during the national anthem (obviously lip-synced) Doesn't anyone actually sing LIVE anymore? and Tom Petty was probably too stoned to remember his own lyrics anyway...the only thing that saved this event was the game itself..and it was boring for three quarters too, come to think about it..maybe it was really the Old Crow and Xanax that REALLY made the show interesting for me at all....

gay bob said...

stevobar, the old crow and Xanax probably explains why you like Barbra Streisand.

thomb said...

Two things:

1) Any pop music performance that involves backup dancers sucks by definition.

2) Isn't lip-synching practically *required* by the PTB who run The Big Game as a condition for getting the gig?

stevobar said...

Thanks for the diagnosis, gay bob..that lets me off the hook regarding potential sexual orientation issues previously advanced by seumas...now all I have to deal with is rehab...

scamorama said...

Now, there's a thought, stevobar:

Get yourself down to SoCal, get into rehab with Brit, and have yourself a little recovery romance.

stevobar said...

Thanks a lot, scamorama..the thought of Brit and her bloody crotch has me sprialing back down into the bottomless pit of sexual confusion... I thought gay bob had rescued me, but you keep draggin' me right back...

Now, where did I leave that bottle...?

gay bob said...

Hey stevobar, if Old Crow and Xanax is working, fuck rehab, that is unless you want to do that Britney thing (shudder). I only get by because of Vodka and Prozac, which probably explains why I don't like Streisand, speaking of potential sexual orientation issues.

scamorama said...

Gee, gay bob, and here I thought there was a Streisand allele on the Y chromosome...

stevobar, I'd say I was sorry if my comment left you looking for a bottle, but one of my favorite quotes from W.C. Fields is, "I met a girl who drove me to drink. I'll be eternally grateful."

stevobar said...

my favorite W.C. Fields quote........."I never drink water water. Fish fuck in it.

Words to live by...

wang williams said...

i'm no savion glover but paula abdul's "dance" seems to be mostly stage strutting with the occassional arm-to-the-side thrust. reminds me of gob from arrested development flinging cards and backwards mookwalking as the bulk of his "magic" act.

C'MON!!

arlen said...

Personnally I would not kick her out of bed for eating crackers

arlen said...

Personaly I would'nt kick her out of bed for eating crackers