Friday, January 04, 2008

A year in crazy: Britney Spears 2007 - 2008

I’ve been thinking about all of the fabulous news stories that Britney has given us throughout the past year, so I figured I’d compile all of the crazy into one big pile for us all to enjoy. We tend to forget all of Britney's past troubles, so let's look back on them now, shall we?

Here are some of the highlights from the past year:

*****

2007

2/14: Britney checks into Crossroads Rehab center, checks out a day later.

2/16: Britney shaves her head.

2/20: Britney checks into Promises Malibu Alcohol and Drug Rehab Treatment Facility; checks out less than 24 hours later.

2/21: Britney attacks a paparazzo’s car with an umbrella, hilarity ensues.

2/22: Britney checks back into Promises .

3/20: Britney leaves rehab, supposedly ‘rehabilitated’.

4/16: Britney fires her manager.

5/17: Bodyguard fired after he claims he was witness to "nudity, drug use and safety issues" involving Britney and her kids.

6/20: Britney's publicist resigns.

7/26: Britney takes the kids out of state to Las Vegas (illegally), only to have Kevin Federline have her and kids ordered back to California.

7/30: The divorce is finally made official.

8/6: Britney crashes into a parked car, has no California driver’s license, and flees the scene.

9/9: Britney performs at the MTV Video Music Awards, and completely humiliates herself and any of her fans who still believed in her.

9/17: Britney ordered to do random drug testing, counseling and parenting classes as custody agreements are discussed.

9/18: Britney leaves her entire management team and changes lawyers – for the second time.

9/21: Britney is charged with a hit and run and driving without a license; still photographed driving with children in car with her.

10/1: Britney ordered to turn over her children to Kevin Federline by October 3rd for temporary custody, suicide watch begins.

10/11: Britney gets one monitored overnight visit per week with her kids after passing her first week of drug testing.

10/16: Britney heads to jail to serve 45 minutes of time for a couple of traffic offenses.

10/18: Britney loses custody of kids due to lack of cooperating with judge-ordered random drug testing.

10/21: Britney regains visitation rights with her children, starts parenting therapy sessions with Kevin.

10/30: Britney loses custody of her children.

11/9: Britney runs a red light and then makes an illegal turn against oncoming traffic, with her two kids in the car, paparazzi record the incident.

11/16: A judge rules that Britney will not be allowed to drive with her children in the car.

12/12: Britney’s sister, 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears, announces that she's pregnant, Britney does not show up for child-custody deposition claiming she is too “ill” to come in; she is photographed out partying that same night.

12/18: Judge orders Kevin Federline to continue retaining primary custody of the children.

12/31: Kevin Federline seen spending New Years with Paris Hilton.

2008

1/1: Britney spends night with married paparazzo in fancy hotel.

1/2: She reportedly announces that she’s dating said paparazzo, dropped by lawyer.

1/3: Britney shows up 2 hours late to child custody deposition; hours later holds her child hostage in bathroom; police are called, Britney is strapped to and wheeled out on gurney; reportedly on un-named drugs & acting crazy.

1/4: Britney in suicide-watch lockdown in hospital, may lose all child visitation.

*****

I think that in the light of the new year, we must all thank our lucky stars for someone as entertaining as Miss Britney Spears. To be honest, I don’t care if you think I’m being heartless, because, as you can see from the timeline, she doesn’t give a shit about a) her kids or b) herself. So why should we care? This girl doesn’t care about us, and she most certainly care about those around her who try to help her, let alone the little people she brought into this world and is supposed to care about. Geez.

Enjoy the look back!

source & source & source

2 comments:

Seumas said...

She intentionally puts herself out there in the public eye and is worthy of humiliation and ridicule and judgmental scorn just as much as any politician or death row murderer. While I'm generally a person of good will toward everyone, I feel zero guilt in ripping apart this waste of carbon. She isn't as deserving of scorn as much as, say, Jerry Falwell was... but she's still a pointless waste of flesh that has consumed our collective culture.

Everyone except her dedicated fans had given her enough good will as it is. Even as recently as the whole head shaving thing, people generally laughed at her but also said they felt bad for her and hoped she could make a turn around (as much as any of us could give a fuck about some random stranger sponging off the world as a media whore).

Now... I think the general consensus is that everyone just wants her to off-herself so we can move on to more interesting things.

The only people who really have a problem with the rest of us deriving great joy from her stupid situation are the celebrity sycophants.


As for the timeline... well done. How many chances does she need? I know that American courts are loathe to ever take children away from a mother unless she's caught on film stabbing them in the eyes with hat-pins, but come on already!

Colin said...

Don't forget on Feb 20th before going to rehab she was seen wondering around the Mondrian Hotel. Witness claimed she attempted to book a room but didn't have any money or credit cards. After being denied a room she proceeded to the hotel pool and began to shave her legs, in the pool! there are great pictures from this incident.