Wednesday, October 04, 2006

My Hero, Shanna Moakler.


Paris Hilton and Shanna Moakler both filed police reports this morning alleging they were attacked. Paris claims Moakler punched her in the jaw and Moakler claims Paris's ex Stavros Niarchos poured a drink over her head and shoved her down some stairs. The incident happened at Hyde at around 1:10 AM when Shanna confronted Paris and started screaming obscenities, at one point punching her in the jaw with a closed fist. The bad blood is the result of Paris getting it on with Shanna's estranged husband Travis Barker, and a source close to Paris reveals that Shanna has been leaving "menacing" messages on Paris's answering machine. Source

God bless you, Shanna Moakler - you had the balls to do what so many women have desired to do: punch Slutty McSlutterson right in her beaky face. You were being heckled by Paris and her entourage, had a drink thrown on you, shoved down the stairs by Mr. Nachos, and you decided to stand up for yourself and do something about it (at least that's the truth I choose to believe). You are a role model to many girls; Paris Hilton is not. Go Shanna go!

8 comments:

Seumas said...

There should be an entire reality series based around sticking two women who despise each other in a ring and letting them fight each other with bladed weapons for our enjoyment and betting, ala Star Trek "The Gamesters of Triskelion".

(Yes, I am a dork - no, I don't like Star Trek - no, I'm not still a virgin).

Sara said...

I agree with Seumas, although maybe I should clarify that I AM a Trekkie and a virgin.

Thanks Shanna. I'll live my fantasy vicariously thru you.

Anonymous said...

One could only have wished they had taken this up to 90's rap gangsta wars; i.e., Tupac the bitch. Nothin' says lovin' like a 9mm Glock. May-be that's the next installment.

Anonymous said...

Hm. No one has yet bothered to mention that Travis Barker is a *dumbass* for picking Paris Hilton over Shanna Moakler.. *drool*...

Michael in Seattle said...

Hot damn! I've been in Italy for the past week, and have been dying for some news from home ("international" CNN is utter bullshit - though they do have a more realistic presentation on the War). This is literally the best thing I've heard in a week. To quote the Beautiful Sarah, "Super fuck yeah!"

Anonymous said...

I cannot tell a lie.

Three quarts does not equal a gallon.

Morty

Anonymous said...

Slutty McSlutterson? Somebody's been attending the Emerson School of Comedy.

Less Blitzen said...

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